Every year, I wanted to dress up as Barbie for Halloween. But rather than buy a blonde wig and some type of princess gown, we would go to the local K-Mart and buy a “Barbie Kit” which contained what looked like a crappy vinyl hair cutting cape with a dress painted on it and a plastic face mask. Don’t get me wrong, I really wanted that cheap-o costume because all the kids in school ran around in plastic “Ninja Turtles” or “Power Ranger” suits. It sure beat the heavyweight upholstery fabric my aunt used in prior years when constructing me so many couch-like costumes.
When I was about 8 or 9, I convinced my mom to let me be "Princess Barbie". We got home with the costume and my mom immediately whipped out a pair of trusty scissors. For a moment, I was afraid that it was time for my
Bowl Cut, but instead, she started cutting into the Barbie mask. She was convinced that the plastic mask would asphyxiate me, so she cut larger nostrils into the nose…and in case my nose was...
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Whenever Nagymama walked to the corner store to buy milk and eggs, she would always stop by the liquor store to buy a lotto ticket. Since my grandmother has always been a little bit of a handful, my mother always welcomed Nagymama’s trips to the corner because it gave her “a moment’s rest”.
Well, one day, that “moment” turned into over an hour. We started to get really worried; the store was no more than half a mile up the road, so Nagymama was usually there and back in about 30 minutes. My mom ran to scour the neighborhood.
Nagymama wasn’t at the corner store. She wasn’t at the liquor store. She wasn’t even at her usual spot at the local McDonald’s, eating hamburgers and petting little kids on the head with greasy fingers while their parents smiled uncomfortably. Nagymama was missing.
Little did we know that Grandma had gotten her lotto ticket as usual, but on her way back home, she started “shopping” for houses. For as long as I have been alive, Nagymama has wanted a “bi-level house”. She would even...
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I realize that some people might end up here from Google because they actually want to know how to make REAL American Goulash. Well, go buy a box of Hamburger Helper, because that's what is basically is. No? Well, okay, fine, Google-o-
phille, here is your recipe:
Home Recipe courtesy of
Lenny's Family Recipes 1 lb ground beef
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium green bell pepper, chopped
2-4 garlic cloves, diced and smashed
1 (14 1/2 ounce) can tomatoes, dice if using whole, do not drain
1 (15 1/4 ounce) can whole kernel corn
1 (15 ounce) can tomato sauce
8 ounces elbow macaroni
1-2 tablespoon chopped parsley, salt and pepper to taste
1. Prepare elbow macaroni according to directions on package till
al dente.
2. Save a little of the pasta water in case you need it later to loosen the sauce.
3. Brown meat in a large skillet, drain the fat and add the onion and bell pepper half way through cooking.
4. Drain any remaining fat...
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Even as a 25-year old woman, I have to lie to my mother any time I go on vacation. It’s not because I’m sneaking around; I’m just “protecting her from the truth”. If she knows I’m on a plane/ train/ automobile, she’ll worries herself sick, so out of sheer love, I lie.
Keep in mind, lying to my mom is no small task because she has "Radar". A few years ago, I went to Las Vegas, I had no sooner gotten off the plane when my phone started ringing off the hook. “Oh, I’m just playing video games, mom. That’s TOTALLY not the sound of 5,000 slot machines going off at once…”
So, last week, I went to the
Ottawa International Animation Festival. I made the mistake of telling my mom about when I first went to the convention in 2002, so every year she starts pestering me about it when September rolls around. This year, I was hoping she would forget, but the night before my flight, her Radar went off.
“Stephie, you going to...
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