One beautiful summer afternoon, my cousin Liz, her husband Bernie, and their two children, Attila and Kris, came down to Philadelphia so we could visit the zoo. This was a momentous occasion since I had never been to the zoo with my family; Anyu never allowed me to go the zoo or circus because she was afraid that the lions would get out of their cage and eat me.
Of course, we weren't in the park more than five minutes before we came across the Galapagos turtles, who were very slowly, methodically, and LOUDLY “making turtly love” as usual.
Attila, being a very inquisitive four-year old asked, "Stephie-néni, what’s are the turtles doing?”
This is not a question I wanted to answer. Not only were they make a terrible smacking sound when their shells rubbed together, but they were also very...vocal...about their behavior.
"The turtles are hugging, they’re friends."
He looked concerned, "But why is that one screaming?”
“Because, uh…hey, look, there's a rhino!"
After a fun day of petting bunnies, seeing wild cats, and eating ice cream, I was pretty tired, so I sat on the bench next to Liz while Attila and Bernie...
Read the rest of this entry »
Anyu and I were talking one day after finding out that a friend from church lost her daughter in a tragic train accident.
My mother was discussing some of the funeral details, and then she looked right at me and said, "You know, it would be just terrible to lose a daughter like
dat. But I mean, it would be even
vorse to lose a sister. I mean, if I had to choose..."
"
Anyu, don't even think about finishing that sentence."
"Vhat? I’m just saying…I’ve had my sister my whole life! I've only had YOU for like tventy-sometink years!”
I'll have to remember not to call my mom the next time I am dangling precariously off a cliff.
Sheesh.
Photo by Steve Woods
I can't seem to make a poll using Blogger, so here goes:
If American Goulash was a cartoon show, what would my name be?
A.) Paprika Magyar (because I am a redhead)
B.) Margitka "Maggie" Magyar
C.) Pepper Paprikas
D.) Paprika Erdely
E.) Something else? (please comment with ideas)
January 14th,2008
Animation | tags:
Poll |
2 Comments
Although one in five people in the U.S. speak a second language at home, my family seems to think we’re the only people on the planet that are multi-lingual, so they call Hungarian “The Secret Language”. Although my mother and I usually have conversations in English, she starts speaking in Hungarian when she wants to tell me something that she doesn’t want anyone else to hear (including the government, who she is convinced has tapped our phone lines).
Of course, they never taught me Romanian because this was the “Super-Secret Language” they could use to talk about me. I complained about this to my Romanian roommate in college, so she phoenetically wrote down, "Mom, I know what you are saying, stop talking about me" in Romanian. I did the best I could to memorize this, and when mom started speaking to Nagymama in Romanian about their secret plans to kill me or something, I repeated, "Mamă, nu mai vorbi despre mine, ştiu ce spui." They both looked pretty shocked for about a minute, and then they just continued their conversation...in German. Damn you Europeans, you’re all too...
Read the rest of this entry »
My family is very nice, caring, and funny, but for some reason, they have no social graces whatsoever, especially when it comes to making introductions. This makes meeting new acquaintances very awkward because I always find myself giving people a "Disclaimer" every time I plan to introduce them to a family member. My family means no harm - they are just brutal in their honesty and criticism.
To save on time, I've actually devised a quiz based on situations that have actually happened to see when someone is ready to meet my family. Grab a pencil and see if you pass the test!
1.) When I was in high school, my friend Susan came over to help me with a project. My mom said:
A.) “Hi, Susan, it’s been a vile! Come, haf a seat!”
B.) “Susan, good to see you! How is your moddder?”
C.) “Susan, why don't you come over more often? Is it because you think all Transylvanians are vampires? Because dat is really a negative stereotype and I don't appreciate dat. Get out of my house.”
D.) “Hi, Susan! Look...
Read the rest of this entry »
One beautiful summer afternoon, my cousin Liz, her husband Bernie, and their two children, Attila and Kris, came down to Philadelphia so we could visit the zoo. This was a momentous occasion since I had never been to the zoo with my family; Anyu never allowed me to go the zoo or circus because she was afraid that the lions would get out of their cage and eat me.
