I vividly remember potty training. This probably means that I used the "little potty" way too long.
WARNING WARNING WARNING: TMI(TOO MUCH INFORMATION). THIS IS POSSIBLY THE MOST HORRIFYING STORY THAT YOU WILL EVER READ!
Nagymama always told me not to go near the "Big Potty" because she was afraid that I would somehow fall in it and drown. To protect me, she claimed that there was a man hiding in the bowl that would grab my butt and suck me down into the sewer forever. Ironically, I recently discovered that this doesn't happen if you sit on the toilet, just if you sit on a crowded subway.
Anyhow, I was only supposed to use the small plastic potty that was placed on the floor adjacent to the big potty. From that point forward, every time I went to the bathroom alone, I would close the lid of the big potty with Nagymama's back scratcher and cover the lid with miscellaneous shampoo bottles. If I couldn't reach the shampoo bottles, I would pile some of my McDonald’s Happy Meal toys on top of the big potty to weigh it...
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In case anyone was wondering why I have been so quiet with the entries, it's been because:
1.) I have been making a
music video about meat (funny as check, but NOT safe for children/work environment).
2.) We are starting fundraising for our next short film,
GPS.
3.) We are finding investors and producers for our feature, "Wizard, Rainbow, Unicorn", a tale of three cartoon voice actors that lose their jobs and have to find "normal jobs".
2.) We have been managing the film festival and getting the word out about
Project Twenty1!
3.) Last, but certainly not least, Nagymama has been having a little trouble lately, so we've been helping her and try to engineer a wheelchair ramp for her so she can still go outside. She's okay, but it's just not easy to get around everywhere when you are 97 and your wheelchair doesn't fit in your house! I have a new appreciation for ADA accessibility, but I have been talking to some of the architects at
Johnsrud & Associates to see what we can do for her.
I never had a chance to meet my Nagypapa (Grandfather), which is probably why I have such a fascination with crotchety old men. Old men are just so funny with their high socks, ugly plaid pants, randomly dispersed ear and/or nose hair, and their general distaste for the world. It's like no matter how hot some 20-something year old guy is, you know eventually he's going to turn into a withered old angry Yoda-character, shouting at the neighbor's kids for their lack in musical taste... and that's just hilarious.
The king of crotchety little old Italian men, Benino, lives next door to my boyfriend. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, rain or shine, Benino stands outside, judging my boyfriend's lawn. Whenever a weed pops up or the lawn grows to be 0.0001 mm above his own lawn, he says, "Why you no take care of you grass?" He then also walks up and down the sidewalk, peeking into peoples' cars and commenting on how dirty their are and how they could probably use a good "Vax and Vash".
I suppose this is...
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I had a dream about Nagymama last night. My aunt, Nagymama, and I were driving up Stelton Road, which is the main street that bisects my old town in New Jersey. My aunt was driving her white 1989 Volkswagen Rabbit, a leaky clunker with red fabric on the roof interior that always drooped down over our foreheads. Even in my dream, I could even smell the faint aroma of mold combined with the fake lemon-scented tree that always hung from the rear view window.
We were desperately searching for an ice cream shop, but it was 11 pm and everything was closed. Nagymama was complaining that she was hungry and my aunt really needed some coffee. We finally stopped at a 7-11 and got Nagymama a couple Twinkies, which she ate voraciously as we sat in the car in the parking lot. My aunt gazed into her black coffee, trying to find the solution to all of our problems at the bottom of her 16-ounce foam cup.
Nagymama threw the wrapper out of the car door and layed down on the back seat as...
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I vividly remember potty training. This probably means that I used the "little potty" way too long.
