Listen to this story read outloud on WXPN.
"I am a prisoner in my own home!" my mother said, as she took a bite out of the questionable-looking broiled salmon at the Home Town Buffet.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Vell….It all started with a cat," she said.
"Uh-huh," I mumbled into my cup of tea, knowing that some horrible story was coming.
"So, I started feeding dah cat. It like to eat the Fancy Feast, like the commercial."
"You don't even LIKE animals! I asked if I could have a dog for Christmas, and you told me that if I ever got a dog, it would EAT MY FACE, mom!”
"Oh, no but this is just a cute little cat! He had the DIAMOND eyes!"
"So then why didn't you catch him, take it to the vet, get it some shots, and…keep it?"
"Vhat are you. CRAZY? It's probably full of DISEASE!"
"So, wait…over the last few years, whenever I ask about the random freaking cat food on all our windowsills, you told me that grandma buys it to keep out the robbers. I thought it was some…superstitious….thing.”
“Yeah, she...
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Okay, so technically this isn't a video, it's audio...but at least it saves your eyes from reading :)
(Later in the week, I will upload the transcription of these stories for anyone that is hard of hearing or anyone that prefers to read along, but for now, I hope you enjoy listening!)
Stephanie Yuhas - Interview
Stephanie Yuhas - Reading: "The Radio Station", "Dah Cat" & Nagymama's Natural Veggie Wash.
Special thanks to the Leeway Foundation, Michaela Majoun, Erin Gautsche, and the Kelly Writer's House for broadcasting "American Goulash" to thousands of homes in the Greater Philadelphia Region!
Over the weekend (April 5th to be exact), Nagymama celebrated her 98th birthday! We had to tell her in every language she speaks to make sure she knew we were HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY:
Happy Birthday! (English)
Boldog születésnapot! (Hungarian)
La mulţi ani! (Romanian)
Alles gute zum Geburtstag! (German)
Hartelijk gefeliciteerd met je vejaardag! (Dutch)
Since it's impossible for everyone to reach out and say "Happy Birthday" to our 4 ft x 4 ft cube of adorable granny, please celebrate her birthday by taking a moment to call your own grandma or grandpa. If you don't have a grandparent, perhaps you should give your parent a ring if you haven't talked to them in a while, or do something really nice for an old lady at the grocery store.
Get off your fanny and talk to your granny!
And if she says something interesting, please post it here :)
This is Part 3 of The Pepper Soup
I decided to bite the bullet and stick my head underneath the sink. Of course, there was no nozzle to control the temperature, so the faucet basically spit ice cubes at me as I tried to scrub pepper gunk from my head. The sink also had an automatic sensor, so I had to move my head back and forth like one of those toy water drinking bird just to get my head wet.
The secretary walked in just as I was bobbing around in the sink. “Do you have a change of clothes at least?”
I stood up and blotted my head with a C-fold paper towel. My head smelled like some weird combination of pepper and that awful pink soap they always have in public restrooms. “Good point, I’ll be right back.”
I was thankful that I still had an overnight bag from my weekend trip, so I headed out to my car. Just as I entered the parking lot, I ran the owner of the office next door, Bob Jacobson.
“Hey, Stephanie!” he said, giving me a curious glance. “How are you...feeling today?”
“I know, I...
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"I am a prisoner in my own home!" my mother said, as she took a bite out of the questionable-looking broiled salmon at the Home Town Buffet.
