The last night at Camp, I tried to sleep, but I couldn't ignore my mother's sighing and heavy breathing from the next bed over. I would have never noticed the noise if Irina hasn't make such a fuss about it
the night before.
I tossed and turned for a while, counted sheep, and even tried to put a pillow over my head. Nothing worked.
"Anyu, are you okay? Why are you breathing and sighing so deeply?"
"Ehhh...my bra...it's too tight."
"What size are you?"
"36C."
"No way, mom, you're bigger than that. Even I'm a 38B."
"No vay you're a 38! You haf no boobs!"
"Gee, thanks. And '38' has nothing to do with boob-size. It's the circumference of my rib cage."
"Oh....really? Den vhat are dah letters for?"
"That's the cup size. For your boobs."
"Oooooh. Nobody ever told me dat. I just picked von up vhen I was 18 and I've been getting dah same size ever since."
"Didn't Nagymama ever teach you about that stuff?"
"You didn't talk about tings like dis vhen I vas young, Stephie. You veren't supposed to."
"Says who?"
"I dunno. You just veren't supposed to talk about anyting."
My mother eventually "unbuckled" herself, her heavy breathing hastened, and I...
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I handed Anyu some Mother's Day presents after I got her to settle down and
put on some pants. After dealing with
last year's drama, I decided to give my mother a GIANT bottle of Arbor Mist to help her relax during our weekend "vacation" at the LBI Bible Camp. Sure, it's totally against the Camp regulations to bring alcohol on the premises...but if the management tried to sleep next to my mother, they might pour themselves a glass, too.
"Oh, tank you, Stephie," she said, admiring the bottle, "Did you bring dah cups?"
"Yes, I have them," Irina chimed in. She pulled out several wine glasses from her bag. It was actually her idea to "drug" my mother with fruity wine.
Anyu made a face and sniffed them. "Are dese clean?"
Irina rolled her eyes, "Yeeees, Ildie, they're clean."
"Are you sure? You didn't just pull dem off the shelf from dah Dollar Store and put dem in your bag, did you? People probably touched them."
"NO, Ildie, I brought them from my kitchen cabinet."
Anyu thought for a moment, "Your kitchen cabinet is probably dusty. I'm gonna vash dem."
We both rolled our eyes as Anyu washed all of the...
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Posted At : June 15, 2009 7:10 PM | Posted By : Live Arts Festival & Philly Fringe
Related Categories:
Video,
Art,
Theater
Men in dresses parading, poignant and creative autobiographical art, a collection of the true stories of gay people worldwide, and a Transylvanian grandmother who wraps Christmas presents in used tin foil. And that's just the beginning.
At the Arts Bank's Laurie Beechman Cabaret, red velvet curtains line the walls while deep purple crushed velvet frames the performance space. Against this plush backdrop, the
First Person Salons unfold every month. Produced by
First Person Arts, the salons illustrate how narrative shades the work of artists across virtually all media. Last week I took in the most recent salon to watch four artists tell their own stories and discuss how narrative shapes their work.
Painting and autobiography are infrequent bedfellows (at least overtly) but painter
Sarah McEneaney integrates both in her colorful and...
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7:03pm The doors are open, and folks are starting to gather. Stephanie Yuhas has some really stellar secret objects she’s auctioning off.
http://www.shinygrape.com/americangoulash/
She’s raising money to cover the cost of her camera that was stolen during a
ProjectTwenty1 event. Help her out!
Michael M. Koehler and I are talking fishing in Philly and New York.
http://www.michaelmkoehler.com/
7:38 We’re now underway at the Salon. Vicki’s reminding everyone that we’re still seeking artists for the salons this year. You can download an application at http://salons.firstpersonarts.org
And you better believe we’re talking about Edible World: Joe Sixpack’s Northern Liberties. It’s happening this weekend! http://edibleworld.firstpersonarts.org
7:45 Sarah McEneaney is first, talking about her extraordinary opus. She’s spent quite a bit of time in that western arts mecca Marfa, Texas. Fascinating use of self-portraits. Her paintings appear in her other paintings, creating a uniquely compiled memoir.
Her work is funny and poignant. Chronicling her time as a clinic defense volunteer in Center City. Especially given the recent killing of...
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I'm auctioning off FOUR hilarious props from tonight's
stage show to help raise money to keep "American Goulash" going strong!
All props come with a certificate of authenticity. This evening's performance will be filmed, so your props will be featured online for years to come.
*If any auctions go over $50, you will receive a FREE copy of this "American Goulash" performance on DVD! Please allow for $4.95 USA shipping if you aren't picking these items up.*
How Do Silent Auctions Work?
If something sounds good to you, click "Comment", type the amount you would like to bid on the item and the item number. That's all!
If you would like to buy an item outright to make sure you're the one that grabs it, simply comment "BuyItNow", the item number, and then
pay online. BuyItNow purchaser will receive bonus gift of 2 free passes to a future performance of “American Goulash” or equal value free gift if buyer is not local to Philadelphia.
THE ITEMS
Mystery Prop #1:Clue: A present from Nagymama. Round-ish. Has been used for many purposes throughout the ages and is one of Nagymama's favorite things.
Minimum...
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June 10th,2009
Live Performances | tags:
artists,
collect original unusual art,
donate,
local,
philadelphia,
philanthropy,
philly,
props,
support,
support comedians |
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