NY, NY V: Sour Lemons

My friends and I traveled to New York City a few weeks ago not just for the pizza, but to see the work of Joe Simko, a talented artist that specializes in colorful illustrations, paintings, and even giant inflatable monsters.

I looked all over the block for some sort of snooty art gallery - you know, the kind that hang a bunch of solid-colored square paintings on the wall for $10,000 a piece. Instead, I spotted a piece of graphite with a pierced eyeball, which happens to be Simko's signature icon. It pointed to the doors of Live Fast, a boutique chocked full of rock & roll fashion and vintage accessories. The entire store was covered in a mural that reminded me of the Garbage Pail Kids at a Punk Rock concert. I walked up to a striking young woman that resembled Betty Paige.

"Um, I'm here for the art show..."

She silently pointed to a door leading to the basement while adjusting a pair of bloody knife earrings in the display case. As I descended the narrow staircase, I was distracted by a picture of flames and a half-naked devil lady, so I smacked my head on the...
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NY, NY IV: NYC-Style Pizza

My mother gave me a call a few weeks ago, "I heard you vaz gonna be in town tomorrow. You vant to go to the Buffet?"

"Actually, I'm not passing through Piscataway, Anyu. I'm heading straight to New York City to see my friend's gallery show."

"Oh, noooo! New York is dangerous!"

"I've been to New York a zillion times. I'll be fine."

"Didn't Anita get mugged last time she was in New York?"

"First of all, that was TEN YEARS AGO. And you are incorrect. She was in Piscataway at the time.  See? I'm safe in the City while all you scaredy cats in the suburbs get held up for your hoagies." (read about the mugging here)

"Make sure you vear your glasses so you can see if somevon is mugging you."

"Anyu, I can see perfectly fine without glasses, I wear contacts."

"I hate dose tings! Your eyes need to breathe more. Promise to vear you glasses."

"Fine, I'll wear my glasses."

"Vell, just be careful. Are you brinking a man vit you for protection?"

I groaned.

The next day, my friends and I took the train in to New York and I could not stop thinking about delicious New York...
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