Archive for December, 2009
As if overhearing my talk of the "
12 Days of Sexmas" posts,
TMZ launched an article today about "
Man Made Holiday Sweaters". Iwas too grossed out to go through all the images, but if you like 'em fuzzy, click the image below to play "Guess the Chest".
Thanks to Elizabeth H. for tipping me off about the teats!
On the eighth day of
Sexmas, I delivered to mommy….
Richard Gere VHS-ing.
Note: For those of you unfamiliar with the inside joke about the fakanál, click here.
Anyu likes Richard Gere enough that I think she would agree that he qualifies for Mr. August, in addition to
Mr. February. This is a poorly-Photoshopped poster from the film
"Nights of Rodanthe",which has a very special significance to my mother, mostly because she has not yet seen it. Here's why:
"Darn it, I can't find 'Nights of Rodanthe' on VHS for Anyu's birthday," I said, clicking through numerous online home video web pages.
Matt, my partner in crime in all things film-related, raised an eyebrow and pushed his seat back from his workstation. "Now, why would ANYONE still buy anything on VHS?" Matt does a lot of film direction and cinematography, so the idea of paying actual money for a film less than crystal-clear quality makes the man shutter.
"My cousin gave her a DVD player a while back, but she can’t find the cords that plug into the TV. Anytime I try to take a look at the unit, Anyu...
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On the seventh day of
Sexmas, I delivered to mommy….
Akshay Kumar a-swimmin'.
When I googled "Men with Hairy Chests", this guy just kept on "sprouting up". Ba-dump-bump.
For those of you that are not familiar with this fluffy babe-magnet, Akshay Kumar is an award-winning Indian film actor that has appeared in over 90 Hindi films. According to
Wikipedia, during the 1990s, Kumar was primarily described as the action hero of Bollywood, and women across the globe seem to agree that he is the hottest hairy chested guy.
Growing up, most of my female friends were Indian, so I would frequently see photos of this guy's typically angry face plastered on my friend's Trapper Keepers or hidden in their lockers. I vaguely remember seeing Akshay as a character in a film called "
Daava" and commenting, "For an action hero, this guy does a heck of a lot of dancing and singing." Thus was my introduction to Bollywood, an art where even musicals can be badass.
Later that year, I went into a local Indian Grocery store to buy a friend an Akshay poster for her birthday, and my mother seemed very pleased with...
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On the sixth day of Sexmas, I delivered to mommy….
ELVIS PRESLEY GYRATING!
If Roy Orbison wasn't playing on Ye Olde Cassette Player, it was a tape of Elvis Presley's rendition of "I'll Be Home For Christmas" or "Here Comes Santa Claus". Played in June.
I'm pretty sure Anyu thinks that Elvis' death was a big hoax. "Oh, Stephie," she would say while she flipped through a Weekly World News claiming to have spotted Elvis in some Florida condominium. "It vould be a better vorld if only dah real Elvis vas alive...and all dah Elvis impersonators vere dead."
Amen to that, Mama.
On the fifth day of Sexmas, I delivered to mommy....
BURT RENYOLD ON A BARE SKIN RUUUUUUUG!
Oh. The. Horror.
I did a little research and I found the story behind this photo according to
Cinematical.com:
In 1972, Burt Reynolds shared a late-night talk show couch (in a totally non-sexual way) with Helen Gurley Brown, author of
Sex and the Single Girl and editor of Cosmopolitan. At some point in the evening, Brown challenged Reynolds to pose for a nude centerfold in her Cosmopolitan, and he agreed. Later, he wrote the whole thing off as a joke - and really, just look at it and there's no reason not to believe him - but he'd also write the entire period off as a blur: "
I've often said to people, if I met you between '73 and '78, I'm sorry, I don't remember three or four of those years."
So there you have it. Hairy chest. Hairy bear. Hair everywhere, except for poor Burt's head. Yeah, you're not fooling anyone with that toupee, old friend.
Although I am having a really tough time understanding how anyone...
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