30 Things to Do Before You’re 30
Most of us were deprived of something as children, whether due to negligence, accident, or just ignorance. Many of us decide to have children so we can give them the things we missed, but we often forget that our younger selves still live inside of us. Even as adults, we continue to desperately reach out to the same people that deprived us as children for some sort of fulfillment, only to be disappointed once again. It was only recently that I realized that once you become an adult, it’s your responsibility to protect and nurture the child within you.
My mother was raised to believe that you would achieve completion if you were loved and financially supported by a man – and she passed that token of advice onto me. I started dating at age 13 to appease my mother, as well as to fill the hole in my heart that was created by the absence of a father and growing up in severe poverty. I became a “serial monogamist”, dating one man after another, until I found a real jewel who proposed to me a week before my college graduation. He then accumulated $15,000 worth of credit card debt in my name (which, ironically, included the purchase of my engagement ring). He promptly took off to father a child with another woman, but not after completely destroying my self-esteem.
After I explained the situation to my dear friend Lynn, she instructed me to make a list of 30 things I wanted to do before I turned 30. That way, I could focus my energy on positive goals that would nurture the damaged little Stephanie inside me, rather than just focus on the obvious necessity to pay off debt. Although 30 seemed a long way down the road at age 22, I rolled my eyes at her “self-help babble and created the list (mostly to appease her. I love you, Lynn!)
Lo and behold, the last few year have been the best years of my life. I’ve come a long way from being that shy girl in the back of the classroom, reading Anne Rice vampire novels and hoping that some prince charming would sweep me off my feet while disregarding my social anxiety, stutter, and goofy glasses.
I encourage you to put down that trashy romance novel make the same type of list – 20 things to do before you’re 20, 40 things to do before you’re 40, etc. If that “round number” is around the corner for you, then make a smaller more manageable list – just for fun! And if you feel guilty about any of this for a second, remember, this is not for you – it’s for the child inside you. Treat her as if she was a real person.
And in case you’re curious, here’s mine:
30 Things to Do Before I’m 30
1.) Swim with dolphins. Or at least pet one. (6/22/09 – Thanks, Matt & Lee! Found a wading pool so I was able to interact with them without drowning.)
2.) Learn how to swim well enough so I won’t have a panic attack when I attempt goal #1. (12/7/10 – went snorkeling in the ocean in Cozumel, Mexico!)
3.) Go to Hungary/Romania to see if everyone is as *quirky* as my family.
4.) Overcome shyness so I can attend networking events by myself, walk up to a complete stranger, actually look them in the eye, and hand them my card (5/06 – Wow, I would say I probably figured this one out, since I’ve been actually giving people networking lessons these days & hold my own freaking networking events.)
5.) Take dance lessons. 1/2 point. I did take them, but now I need a partner!
6.) Pitch an idea in front of Cartoon Network or Comedy Central. (9/21/06 – Won a contest where I pitched to over 300 distributors at OIAF. And yes,everything went wrong, it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I’m glad I did it.)
7.) Go horseback riding. (05/07/06 – Thanks, Kea!)
8.) Start a business (Now I have three)
9.) Try sake. In Japan. 03/30/06 – Thanks, Liesje!
10.) Go to SeaWorld & Disney. (6/22/09 – Thanks, Mike, Lee & Matt! Unexpected Side Effect: Getting teary-eyed when I saw Mickey Mouse for the first time. This is very unlike me, so I guess lil’ Steph is still in there!)
11.) Going to a hot springs/spa (03/29/06 – Thanks, Liesje!)
12.) Finish a feature-length screenplay. (Now we have too many!)
13.) Finish that giant fish painting.
14.) Make a website. A real one, not this crappy geocities rip-off crap. I would say I have a few decent ones now. 
15.) Reach a level of financial security that allows me to purchase property : business property for myself and safe residential property for my mother – none of this 425 square foot shack nonsense. (1/4 Point – I am able to rent a piece of business property)
16.) Help a woman get out of an abusive relationship the way my friends helped me. 2008
17.) Organize that giant box of photos into some sort of logical album. 12/2010
18.) Attend a Red-Carpet Event. (I ended up throwing one myself. That was INSANE.) 10/2010
19.) Have enough balls to sing karaoke. (03/31/06 – Thanks, Liesje! And sorry to everyone else!)
20.) Watch Star Wars. (2/2009 – Thanks, Matt! And as an added bonus, I went to the Skywalker Compound and saw all of the props & drawings in real life. Yeah, I know you’re jealous. Thanks, Will!)
21.) Watch some Mystery Science Theater. I know ALL of them is too big of a goal, but enough to know what the heck all my dorky friends are talking about! (2006-2010 – Not only have I been watching them, but I went to go see both RiffTrax & Cinematic Titanic LIVE)
22.) Eat a oonk fritter on a cruise (Hell yes, 12/4-12-11/2010 – Cozumel, Honduras, Grand Cayman, Princess Cays!)
23.) Go to the New York Natural History Museum and see this squid fighting with the sperm whale. 5/2009 – Thanks, Liesje!
24.) Go to DC and go museum hopping. Thanks, Lisa!
25.) Ask a funny/nerdy boy out on a date 04/4/06 (You should try it sometime.)
26.) People watch within eyeshot of the Eiffel Tower. (I get half a point for this. I went to Paris Casino in Vegas).
27.) Go on a completely spontaneous road trip . 10/08: “Thriller! Chiller! Film Festival, Michigan” (Thanks, Matt! Tony was so surprised!); 10/08: Chicago (Thanks, David Prouty!); Grease trucks! (We make this roadtrip too often. We’re fat bastards)
28.) Go somewhere for the sheer sake of getting dressed up all extra-super-fancy-like. I’ve done that quite a bit now, especially in 2010 – Mutter Ball, Masquerade Ball, so many weddings, Rolfe Parties!
29.) Go to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium. (We came really close, dammit. I was within five miles of it and we didn’t have time! But we had a heck of a good time in Carmel – Thanks Matt L, Michelle, Emmett, Corey, Sara, Matt C., Mike, & Lee!)
30.) Take lots of pictures acting like an ass on a San Francisco trolley. 2/2009 – Thanks Matt, Lee & Ben!
So, now you’ve read mine – time for yours. Feel free to post it as a comment here, or as a Note on your Facebook page. Who knows; maybe it will become one of those annoying internet memes. At least this one won’t involve cats. Unless one of your “30 Things” involves cats, which I hope, for your sake, does not. That makes my inner child cry – and allergic.
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Facebook comments:
Wow. You actually have all the dates down? I could barely remember that you visited in March.
And don’t worry… I’m pretty sure Mike and eric were happy to have someone to sing Disney tunes with.
Love it! You’re a self-repair veteran like myself!
You know you’re my heroine. We have much in common…except I’ve already turned 30. Do I make a “40 Things to do Before 40″ list now?
I need help with my self esteem too. If you have some remaining advice, please pass along.. though i’ve never been in an abusive relationship; and I know how busy you are.
#21 helped pave the path to our meeting/friendship!
You mentioned “Twilight” and “abusive boyfriends” (several times). That reminds me of my goal: finish a comic book. Except that THIS goal is to be done by June!
Hi! These lists really do help – I’ve started two lists, and although I’m not progressing, it helps to stay focused. Anyways, I was wondering where your mom and grandma come from? I’m also a Hungarian from Romania, and I can assure you that EVERYONE that I know, especially if they are from a rural area, are equally as quirky as your family is. If you ever manage to come to Romania I would be more than happy to be a guide, or just to answer some questions. You are awesome – keep writing!
Yes, Dana, you do need a 40 things before you’re 40!
Emily: Good point! It’s amazing what comes out of these lists..sometimes it’s great things AND great people
Advice on self-esteem? It’s different for everyone. For me, I lied to myself. I was sick of the Piscataway Stephanie Yuhas that was shy with low selfesteem. I came to Philly and reinvented myself. I told myself that if I acted confident, that I would *BE* confident. I also took some acting classes, which helped tremendously.
Spicymustard (nice name!): My family is from St. George, Romania, which is apparently a Hungarian village. I’m very pleased to meet another Hungarian-Romanian since a lot of people don’t understand what that means (they just either assume that I’m a moron that doesn’t understand that Transylvania is in Romania now, not Hungary or I’m making some sort of commentary that Transylvania *belongs* to Hungary, not Romania. I don’t give a damn about borderlines – I’m from freaking New Jersey!) My father is actually from Hungary – Budapest, I think – but my mother has never been to Hungary. Nagymama was born in Yugoslavia but moved all around and settled in Transylvania. Hey, what’s your name? I want to hear more about your family, too
How’d you find this site? (oh, so many questions….)
I’m glad I could help you out with one