"I have an idea", my cousin announced over the phone."Oh, yeah?" I couldn't hide my concern. Usually when anyone tells me they have an "idea", it's usually time to reach for the aspirin.
"In all the years we've been alive, we've NEVER had a family BBQ at the house. Let's have one for this 4th of July. I would really like to make some good memories for the boys."
I wracked my brain for "good memories". To me, 4th of July was filled with the sound on my mom screaming in terror every time my neighbor set off fireworks. Every time she heard the slightest "Boom", she would run to make sure that the roof wasn't on fire from "dah ashes from dah firevorks".
Despite the fact that I had already made plans, I decided that I would find some way to cancel them so I could spend time with my family. I want my cousin's children to have happy, non-traumatic memories , so I if that means I have to make sure that my mother doesn't get naked in front of them
like our last vacation, so be it.
"Great idea. I'll...
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This is Part 3 of The Pepper Soup
I decided to bite the bullet and stick my head underneath the sink. Of course, there was no nozzle to control the temperature, so the faucet basically spit ice cubes at me as I tried to scrub pepper gunk from my head. The sink also had an automatic sensor, so I had to move my head back and forth like one of those toy water drinking bird just to get my head wet.
The secretary walked in just as I was bobbing around in the sink. “Do you have a change of clothes at least?”
I stood up and blotted my head with a C-fold paper towel. My head smelled like some weird combination of pepper and that awful pink soap they always have in public restrooms. “Good point, I’ll be right back.”
I was thankful that I still had an overnight bag from my weekend trip, so I headed out to my car. Just as I entered the parking lot, I ran the owner of the office next door, Bob Jacobson.
“Hey, Stephanie!” he said, giving me a curious glance. “How are you...feeling today?”
“I know, I...
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This is part 2 of
The Pepper Soup
"Did you trip and fall, Steph?" my Greek co-worker asked. He was grinning ear-to-ear as the entire office gathered around the small kitchen to witness the mess.
"No, I just opened my soup," I muttered, as I desperately tried to scrub the red and orange goop off the wall.
"Did you shake it up first?" the secretary asked, who was at least helping with the cleanup, but obviously laughing her butt off.
"No," I said firmly. "I just opened my soup."
"Did you put the metal container in the microwave before you opened it?" asked my concerned Polish colleague.
"No, I just opened my frakkin soup! Dammit, people, I was getting ready to pour it into a microwave-safe bowl, not trying to burn the whole office down."
My boss chimed in, "Was the soup hot when you put it in the container? Maybe it was too hot and it expanded and-"
"No, it would have had the adverse affect and actually condensed," the Greek argued.
My boss pointed her finger at him, hands still full of wet paper towels, "But it still could have caused some sort of vacuum."
I thought for...
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The other day, I bought a three pound bag of red bell peppers on sale for $2. I was delighted with the good deal, but after a few days, I feel guilty because I had only gone through about a pound and the peppers were wrinkling. Nagymama taught me that I should never waste food, so I started looking up recipes that called for a metric ton of peppers.
After browsing Ye Olde Internets, I discovered a Red Pepper Soup recipe that sounded tasty, and more importantly, cheap and easy! I made a few modifications to the ingredients to make the soup more spicy and waist-line friendly. The whole stew was ready in less than an hour, and since I had already eaten dinner, I packed it in a non-spill thermos for later.
The next morning, I went into the architectural firm where I am a graphic design consult a few days a week. I normally don't go in on Mondays, but they called me to do some extra marketing since they just moved into a lovely new office space. After a few hours of slaving over InDesign, I popped in the kitchen...
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