“I tink it’s a girl dis time,” my aunt, "Nagynéni", said, closing one eye and framing my cousin’s pregnant belly with her finger like a movie director. Anyu, Nagynéni, my cousin Erin, and I were sitting in the living room, watching Erin’s two boys play with dozens of dinosaur toys.
“Yes, yes, that’s what your sister keeps saying, too,” Erin replied, only half paying attention as her youngest boy tried to reach for a large box of toys on a tall shelf.
“You’re carrying high. You’ll be surprised. It’ll be a girl,” said Anyu.
Erin rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, explain the penis in the sonogram then.” She stood up carefully, holding the precious cargo of her 9-month pregnant belly as she lifted herself from the couch.
“Eeeeeeeeeeh, dat doesn’t mean anyting,” Nagynéni said, waving her hand dismissively. “Ignore the penis. It could still
turn into a girl, you know.”
“So, are you a little nervous about going in for the C-Section next week?” I asked to the back of Erin's head as she walked towards her children.
“I really try not to think about it,” Erin said, effortlessly ...
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On the second day of Sexmas, I delivered to mommy....
Richard Gere with a Rose!
Part of the reason Anyu loves Roy Orbison's song "Pretty Woman" is because of the movie that just-so-happens to go by the same title. I know the film annoys her a bit because "Crocodile-Mouth" is in it (that's what she calls Julia Roberts), but she'll put up with the toothy grin for a glimpse of Mr. Gere.
Sadly, my mother ONLY sees movies that have Richard Gere in them. I have tried to break her of this ritual, but I am unable to break her Richard Ritual.
--
Classic Example:
Me: Hey, everyone wants to go see that movie "Up", do you want to go see it?
Anyu: Is Richard Gere in it?
Me: No, it's animated.
Anyu: So he's playing a cartoon character? That's veird.
Me: No, it's a Pixar movie. They don't tend to throw random unnecessary famous voice actors all over films the way Dreamworks does.
Anyu: You know, Stephie, I vish Richard Gere could just show up to dah door and visk me avay from dis all right now.
Me: Anyu, if Richard Gere showed up right now, he couldn't make it to the...
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Awesome! Philly2Philly did a feature about "American Goulash" on their site! Thanks guys!Also, WOO HOO! This is my 100th post! Time for cake!
Get Your Goulash
By
Autumn Konopka at 1:40 pm on Wednesday May 27, 2009
Original Source
We’ve all got a crazy family story, the ones we pull out when a party gets dull to stir up a round of belly laughs. People might not even believe that Uncle John burned down the garage or wrenched an old lady from her burning station wagon, but they beg you to tell it over and over again.
Stephanie Yuhas has a blog’s worth of these stories. Since 2007, she’s been posting several stories a month on American Goulash (shinygrape.com/americangoulash), mostly about her Romanian mom (Anyu) and grandmom (Nagymama), their views of the world, and their unique style of child-rearing.
In a recent post called “Bath Time,” Yuhas explains that she had to sneak showers as an adolescent because Nagymama believed that excessive bathing led to: “Red Hair (which makes you look like a whore), All your hair falling out (well, at least it won’t be red anymore), and Kidney infections (resulting in death).” ...
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June 4th,2009
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