Squeezee Wonder Wiener

Warning: Contains suggestive content that might not be suitable for minors.

As a nine-year old, the highlight of my day came around 11 am when the mailman stopped by with letters and junk mail. Every day was a delight;  if I wasn't receiving a letter from one of my fifteen international PenPals or my National Geographic subscription, I would at least get my beloved Oriental Trading catalogue. I spent many hours browsing through that brochure of shoddily-manufactured products, wishing that I was old enough to have a credit card so I could buy a gross of glow in the dark necklaces and Squeezee Wonder Wieners (those 80's toys that would "slide, slip & slither" out of your hands). Yes, I know I had big dreams.

One afternoon, I spotted the giant pile of mail on the kitchen table and make an immediate run for it. After tossing  three bills on the floor, I spotted a catalogue that had the words TOYS written on the front with the words "NEW GLOW IN THE DARK PRODUCTS!" printed in giant block letters on the corner. It was sealed, so I ripped it open to discover a big glow-in-the-dark Squeeze Wonder Wiener prominently featured in the first few...
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The Cover of Darkness

The shame officially began today: I created the cover for my mother's "Sexy Men" Calendar.



When I was spending tens of thousands of dollars on art school, I never expected that I would be photoshopping chest hair onto plastic cake topper dolls at 4 a.m.  for my mother's amusement. My 2-D Design teacher would be ashamed...or possibly turned on. I'm not sure if he likes burly men.