No Moon
March 19, 2011, 9:05 p.m. My phone rings. It's Ilka."Hey, mom, I can't talk, I'm at a birthday party. Is everything ok?"
"Ok, I vas just calling to alert you about dah moon."
"Oh, yeah, it's a super moon, right?"
"So you're avare of the situation? Your aunt told me dat dah moon is the closest it has ever been..."
"Yah, okay, well I can't talk right now, I promise to go look at the moon later."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T LOOK AT THE MOON!"
"It's not a solar eclipse, mom. You can look directly at it-"
"No, Stephie, promise me you vill not go outside and look at the moon!"
"Wait, what the heck is happening? Did you seriously just call me to tell me about the moon so I don't go look at it??"
"Stephie, are you drunk?"
"What?" I look down at my half-finished can of 4-Loko. "Uhhhh, noooo," I lied.
"Promise me you vill not go outside all by yourself. Do you have someone to vatch you."
"I'm 28, I don't need anyone to watch me."
"Promise MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"
"Ok, fine. I will not look at the moon unattended."
"Okay. Tell somevon whoever it is 'Happy Burstday.'"
"Okay."
"And don't look at the moon...
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"I have an idea", my cousin announced over the phone."Oh, yeah?" I couldn't hide my concern. Usually when anyone tells me they have an "idea", it's usually time to reach for the aspirin.
