Posts Tagged hungarian
With permission, I'm posting Steven Ormosi's story about his "Goulash" experience:
Your videos and stories remind me of my own Grandmother. She was always Grandma to me, not Nagymama, though naggy might describe her well:
"Where is your girlfriend?"
"I don't have one."
"Here is more chicken."
"I've already had two helpings!"
"You have to love your brother."
"...What? I do."
"Ok",
"...").
My Grandmother would dote on us, which was great because mom wouldn't let us drink soda or eat unhealthy cereal at home. She once gave me so much food while I was over there that I puked...ugh, I still can't eat sour cream and onion potato chips. I think I gained about 100 lbs as a direct result of them moving to NJ.
She was just as anal about everything being in the right place as your Nagymama is. She would constantly rove the living room and kitchen, fixing any little inconsistency, picking up bits of lint or string or what have you. Clearing dishes, as soon as the last morsel was picked off the plate. She was a whirling dervish.
“I tink it’s a girl dis time,” my aunt, "Nagynéni", said, closing one eye and framing my cousin’s pregnant belly with her finger like a movie director. Anyu, Nagynéni, my cousin Erin, and I were sitting in the living room, watching Erin’s two boys play with dozens of dinosaur toys.
“Yes, yes, that’s what your sister keeps saying, too,” Erin replied, only half paying attention as her youngest boy tried to reach for a large box of toys on a tall shelf.
“You’re carrying high. You’ll be surprised. It’ll be a girl,” said Anyu.
Erin rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, explain the penis in the sonogram then.” She stood up carefully, holding the precious cargo of her 9-month pregnant belly as she lifted herself from the couch.
“Eeeeeeeeeeh, dat doesn’t mean anyting,” Nagynéni said, waving her hand dismissively. “Ignore the penis. It could still
turn into a girl, you know.”
“So, are you a little nervous about going in for the C-Section next week?” I asked to the back of Erin's head as she walked towards her children.
“I really try not to think about it,” Erin said, effortlessly ...
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On the eighth day of
Sexmas, I delivered to mommy….
Richard Gere VHS-ing.
Note: For those of you unfamiliar with the inside joke about the fakanál, click here.
Anyu likes Richard Gere enough that I think she would agree that he qualifies for Mr. August, in addition to
Mr. February. This is a poorly-Photoshopped poster from the film
"Nights of Rodanthe",which has a very special significance to my mother, mostly because she has not yet seen it. Here's why:
"Darn it, I can't find 'Nights of Rodanthe' on VHS for Anyu's birthday," I said, clicking through numerous online home video web pages.
Matt, my partner in crime in all things film-related, raised an eyebrow and pushed his seat back from his workstation. "Now, why would ANYONE still buy anything on VHS?" Matt does a lot of film direction and cinematography, so the idea of paying actual money for a film less than crystal-clear quality makes the man shutter.
"My cousin gave her a DVD player a while back, but she can’t find the cords that plug into the TV. Anytime I try to take a look at the unit, Anyu...
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Earlier this week, I was invited to one of those obligatory holiday office party by a pharmaceutical consulting company that hires me for graphic design work. Since I know everyone at this company on a professional level, I was really surprised when one of these techies asked me about my "
Sexmas Calendar". Of course, those two little words caught the entire room's attention, so the casual holiday conversation went right into the gutter and evolved into a game of "Name the Hottest Hairy-Chested Guy". I was half-flattered, half-disturbed that fifteen pharmaceutical professionals were wracking their brains to find a way to turn on my mother, but I figured they could write it all off as "Clinical Research" for a more potent female Viagra drug or something.
By the end of the night, I received a list of about 50 people, but the name that really caught my attention was Marlon Brando. I totally forgot about Mr. Brando, probably because I've never seen any of his films (yes, that include "The Godfather" - try not to look so shocked). Fortunately, I've watched enough parodies to know that it would be funny to have a shirtless, hairy, tubby, Italian guy with cotton balls stuffed in his word hole as my Mr. March.
I googled Marlon Brando and was surprised and the amount handsome photos...
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On the second day of Sexmas, I delivered to mommy....
Richard Gere with a Rose!
Part of the reason Anyu loves Roy Orbison's song "Pretty Woman" is because of the movie that just-so-happens to go by the same title. I know the film annoys her a bit because "Crocodile-Mouth" is in it (that's what she calls Julia Roberts), but she'll put up with the toothy grin for a glimpse of Mr. Gere.
Sadly, my mother ONLY sees movies that have Richard Gere in them. I have tried to break her of this ritual, but I am unable to break her Richard Ritual.
--
Classic Example:
Me: Hey, everyone wants to go see that movie "Up", do you want to go see it?
Anyu: Is Richard Gere in it?
Me: No, it's animated.
Anyu: So he's playing a cartoon character? That's veird.
Me: No, it's a Pixar movie. They don't tend to throw random unnecessary famous voice actors all over films the way Dreamworks does.
Anyu: You know, Stephie, I vish Richard Gere could just show up to dah door and visk me avay from dis all right now.
Me: Anyu, if Richard Gere showed up right now, he couldn't make it to the...
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With permission, I'm posting Steven Ormosi's story about his "Goulash" experience:
