Mr. January

On the first day of Sexmas,  I delivered to mommy...
Roy Orbison singing really crap-ily!


Every time we took a ride in the old mustard-colored station wagon, Anyu would sing:

"Pretty voman, valking down the street,
Pretty woman, I kinda like to meet.
I don't believe you, to tell dah truth,
No von could look as good as you,
Criiiiing. Over you...."

Yes, I know, those are not the lyrics to the song - in fact, those are TWO DIFFERENT Roy Orbison songs combined, but that's how she tends to sings them, which is kind of charming.

I can only assume that by loving the music, she loves the "Sexy Man" behind the music. After all, Anyu is a big fan of Elvis, so I guess Roy looks like Goth Elvis. Or maybe a Blind Elvis? "Dat vas dah style den," I suppose.

Unfortunately, there were no shirtless Roy pictures available. That's probably better in the long run - for the sake of the children.

Sipping

I handed Anyu some Mother's Day presents after I got her to settle down and put on some pants. After dealing with last year's drama, I decided to give my mother a GIANT bottle of Arbor Mist to help her relax during our weekend "vacation" at the LBI Bible Camp. Sure, it's totally against the Camp regulations to bring alcohol on the premises...but if the management tried to sleep next to my mother, they might pour themselves a glass, too.

"Oh, tank you, Stephie," she said, admiring the bottle, "Did you bring dah cups?"

"Yes, I have them," Irina chimed in. She pulled out several wine glasses from her bag. It was actually her idea to "drug" my mother with fruity wine.

Anyu made a face and sniffed them. "Are dese clean?"

Irina rolled her eyes, "Yeeees, Ildie, they're clean."

"Are you sure? You didn't just pull dem off the shelf from dah Dollar Store and put dem in your bag, did you? People probably touched them."

"NO, Ildie, I brought them from my kitchen cabinet."

Anyu thought for a moment, "Your kitchen cabinet is probably dusty. I'm gonna vash dem."

We both rolled our eyes as Anyu washed all of the...
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