Dah Cat

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"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Vell….It all started with a cat," she said.

"Uh-huh," I mumbled into my cup of tea, knowing that some horrible story was coming.

"So, I started feeding dah cat. It like to eat the Fancy Feast, like the commercial."

"You don't even LIKE animals! I asked if I could have a dog for Christmas, and you told me that if I ever got a dog, it would EAT MY FACE, mom!”

"Oh, no but this is just a cute little cat! He had the DIAMOND eyes!"

"So then why didn't you catch him, take it to the vet, get it some shots, and…keep it?"

"Vhat are you. CRAZY? It's probably full of DISEASE!"

"So, wait…over the last few years, whenever I ask about the random freaking cat food on all our windowsills, you told me that grandma buys it to keep out the robbers. I thought it was some…superstitious….thing.”

“Yeah, she...
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Quick Bite: Wives’ Tale #7 – Blindness

Anyu always said that anyone that goes blind later in life...
Probably touched kitty litter and did not wash their hands.  Do you know anyone that has ridiculous theories?

Quick Bite: Wives’ Tale #6 – Gypsies

Nagymama walked me to the bus stop until I graduated high school...
So that gypsies would not push me into their car and sell me into prostitution.  Did your family ever have insane paranoia?

Quick Bite: Wives’ Tale #5 – Kidneys

Nagymama always lifted my shirt up in public...
To make sure I was wearing an undershirt so I wouldn't catch a "kidney cold".  What did your family always do to you that was embarrassing in public?

Quick Bite: Wives’ Tale #4 – Perfume

Anyu always said that you will become allergic to perfume...
If you spray yourself with it while talking at the same time.  Did your family ever blame an illness on something random?