Secret Drawings

“Time for Art Class!” Mrs. Pine announced.

It was the beginning of first grade, so this meant that for the first time, I had to leave the safe walls of our familiar classroom and venture to the mysterious art room across the school. My fellow classmates and I walked in a carefully regulated single-file line down the hall, passing older children that had a freedom in their steps we had not yet learned as terrified youngsters.

We entered a room with a peculiar smell, like a combination of sawdust and plastic. Children’s drawings hung over the entire room, coupled with yellowed reprints of famous works of art that I had recognized from episodes of Sesame Street. The room had wide and sturdy wooden tables covered in construction paper and crayons.

A woman stood with her back to us, furiously scribbling something on the chalkboard. “Everyone sit down,” she said, not looking back, “Now!”

As usual, everyone paired off and I was left sitting next to Mike, the church lady’s son that made fun of me because of my bad haircut. I climbed onto the stool as quietly as I could and tried to read some...
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Mr. August

On the eighth day of Sexmas, I delivered to mommy….
Richard Gere VHS-ing.

Note: For those of you unfamiliar with the inside joke about the fakanál, click here.

Anyu likes Richard Gere enough that I think she would agree that he qualifies for Mr. August, in addition to Mr. February. This is a poorly-Photoshopped poster from the film "Nights of Rodanthe",which has a very special significance to my mother, mostly because she has not yet seen it. Here's why:

"Darn it, I can't find 'Nights of Rodanthe' on VHS for Anyu's birthday," I said, clicking through numerous online home video web pages.

Matt, my partner in crime in all things film-related, raised an eyebrow and pushed his seat back from his workstation. "Now, why would ANYONE still buy anything on VHS?" Matt does a lot of film direction and cinematography, so the idea of paying actual money for a film less than crystal-clear quality makes the man shutter.

"My cousin gave her a DVD player a while back, but she can’t find the cords that plug into the TV. Anytime I try to take a look at the unit, Anyu...
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