Too Tight

The last night at Camp, I tried to sleep, but I couldn't ignore my mother's sighing and heavy breathing from the next bed over. I would have never noticed the noise if Irina hasn't make such a fuss about it the night before.

I tossed and turned for a while, counted sheep, and even tried to put a pillow over my head. Nothing worked.

"Anyu, are you okay? Why are you breathing and sighing so deeply?"

"Ehhh...my bra...it's too tight."

"What size are you?"

"36C."

"No way, mom, you're bigger than that. Even I'm a 38B."

"No vay you're a 38! You haf no boobs!"

"Gee, thanks. And '38' has nothing to do with boob-size. It's the circumference of my rib cage."

"Oh....really? Den vhat are dah letters for?"

"That's the cup size. For your boobs."

"Oooooh. Nobody ever told me dat. I just picked von up vhen I was 18 and I've been getting dah same size ever since."

"Didn't Nagymama ever teach you about that stuff?"

"You didn't talk about tings like dis vhen I vas young, Stephie. You veren't supposed to."

"Says who?"

"I dunno. You just veren't supposed to talk about anyting."

My mother eventually  "unbuckled" herself, her heavy breathing hastened, and I...
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Sipping

I handed Anyu some Mother's Day presents after I got her to settle down and put on some pants. After dealing with last year's drama, I decided to give my mother a GIANT bottle of Arbor Mist to help her relax during our weekend "vacation" at the LBI Bible Camp. Sure, it's totally against the Camp regulations to bring alcohol on the premises...but if the management tried to sleep next to my mother, they might pour themselves a glass, too.

"Oh, tank you, Stephie," she said, admiring the bottle, "Did you bring dah cups?"

"Yes, I have them," Irina chimed in. She pulled out several wine glasses from her bag. It was actually her idea to "drug" my mother with fruity wine.

Anyu made a face and sniffed them. "Are dese clean?"

Irina rolled her eyes, "Yeeees, Ildie, they're clean."

"Are you sure? You didn't just pull dem off the shelf from dah Dollar Store and put dem in your bag, did you? People probably touched them."

"NO, Ildie, I brought them from my kitchen cabinet."

Anyu thought for a moment, "Your kitchen cabinet is probably dusty. I'm gonna vash dem."

We both rolled our eyes as Anyu washed all of the...
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